Dear family and friends.....
Just want to let you guys know that, I have survived the exam period. But i may not survive the post-exam period. I did badly for my test. Seriously, i think i will fail. Like flora and Bryan pointed out, i have never failed in my whole life. Well, everything has its first time. But it is extremely bad for mine to happen during my undergrad studies. Well, 2 points to comfort me. Firstly, it is not counted. secondly, most people didnt know what they wrote as well. But, being me, I am down right not satisfied with myself. I have decided to study even harder like never before. I managed to keep my laptop in my bag until 7pm yesterday. before surfing for half an hour and head to SAC (a quiet place) to study. Looking at what I manage to accomplish yesterday, the amount of work done, I grinned in satisfaction...I think i havent tried hard enough. I know i can still push it more..and i will. all the way to success!! and for that I need GOd's blessing and God to be with me. Therefore, i need to grow spiritually too. ok. I will do just that. Its always an extra boost with God by your side. Its just like even if you have just studied for a week, you know you have covered 2 weeks stuff. or its just me? lol...anyway, i need time to regain my confidence after this knock. so continue to pray for me guys, for my spiritual growth and my time management, studies, confidence. I wana say lots of THANK YOU to all that have prayed for me over the week/s or day/s. I continuously need your prayers...if u remember, do just add "........and eric too" ok ok??? haha...thanks!
p/s i am still sad now...though i might not sound so..i still am.
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Due to the limited time that I have to spend to update, is it a wise choice to close down this blog? This is also beneficial for all of you guys as you will have one blog less to spend time on. haha
hey!! let"s chat here!! *please avoid using pseudonym. well appreciated.
The Bible is my inspiration to lead the life pleasing in His eyes. All glory be unto HIM!
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11 comments:
Why do we keep working hard, pushing ourselves to our limits, drinking coffee to supress our sleepiness, studying every day, doing extra homework and so on just to get the highest possible grades?
What kind of spirit that make us do that? What make us push so hard?
Is it shame and honor? Is it personal satisfaction? Or is it to please God?
You then begin to feel tired from all the pushing and striving. No matter how hard you push, you remain stagnant. The more you strive, the more backwards you go. Is it time for you to bade goodbye to hardwork and just anticipate God's grace upon you patiently?
Think about that.
Chinese culture is just so weird. Honor and shame are placed so high in the culture that childen (especially students) suffer. Bleh.
Dear anonymous,
Indeed I agree with most parts of your comment. It is very common that we work hard, we push ourselves and we do extra exercises to get ourselves to that level that we intend to reach (though i am not entirely sure if there are really that many people who take coffee to stay awake. Personally i dont drink coffee, at all - but that is not the point). I also agree that it is mainly associated and embedded in our chinese culture that we need to work hard for our grades (although, again, i wont say all).
I am not entirely sure what other people think of when they work hard to achieve good grades. But I believe that God will never ever short change us in what we do. Yes, there are times when we do feel satisfied that we get good results. It is inevitable that we will feel happy about it, but i suppose not to the extent that we use it to symbolize and objectify ourselves and be walking around with our results on our head to announce to the world. You talked about shame and honour. In this context, I would assume that you are talking about shame and honour with regard to myself. Personally, again, i am not sure about others. one of the reasons i work hard is to honour my parents and to make my parents happy. You just need to stop and think for a while and the logic of this argument will surface without me elaborating on it. It is sufficient to say, it is a way of saying "thank you dad, mum" for splashing out a few hundred thousands on my education.
Now, coming to God. During my time in KL, i attended city harvest church. One of the sermons that struck me talks about this verse.
The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom.
THe pastor-in-charge talked about how we are promised blessings and that as christians we shall be the head and not the tail. We are meant to be successful because Our God will definitely want us to fail. I believe in that and i hold on to that. And, frankly, i disagree with u saying that we should bid goodbye to hardwork and just wait for God to give you the reward. I dont have to cite any passages from the Bible to tell you that God wants us to study. God wants us to work hard to get what we want. If you want to reap, you first need to sow. If you never sow, how could you ever reap your reward?
I really hope my reply does satisfy you to an extent. Please do comment if u do not agree with me. It is my pleasure to reply.
Cheers~
*Our God will definitely NOT want us to fail
When I said "hardwork", I meant our own effort.
Don't you think that sometimes Christians can be working too hard that they forget how God already made them the head and not the tail?
Don't you think that there are times when people keep working hard to try to score as many As to please God, to please dad, to please mum, and to please self?
God doesn't want us to keep working hard. Hard work does not safe you from anything, but rather God just want you to go to Him and embrace His love and befriend with Him.
That is something that a lot of people tend to forget.
Indeed good results will always be a good testimonies of God's grace but we shall not forget that God wants more than just good grades from us. He wants a relationship from us.
Imagine you coming home from school flashing to your dad your perfect scores and go straight to your room and study for another 24 hours. Do you think He will be pleased with you? No.
So I guess, all I'm trying to say is that sometimes, we just work too hard and forget that God just want us to be His friends and not to give Him As and As all the time.
About the head and the tail, I do not deny the whole thing but you need to acknowledge the fact that sometimes you will not be the head simply because God has other plans for you.
Luke once said how we can just ask and we will be given. What about prayers of people who have AIDS for the past 20 years of their life and have yet received healing?
I'm not in anyway doubt the bible, but I'm just saying that sometimes, we should just let go of the steering that we are desperately clinging to and just let God to the driving.
Hey, anonymous,
I have no idea where you're going with this argument. He never said that he will be working hard to the extent that he forgot God or other aspects of life. And it's not like he stopped befriending God while working hard to get good results. As a student, our job is to study. And it's not like, we study and forget whatever else that God is wanting us to do and to learn.
And when he mention hard work, he asked for prayers, so that means he is not doing it with his own strength. He is making effort with God's blessings and coverings too.
And there is no wrong in asking to be the head and not the tail because it is stated in the bible. We can ask but be shouldn't be disheartened and stop studying or get disappointed with God just because we are not leading, not the top. And this is because, as you have stated, it's God's will, God's plan. BUT again, there is no wrong in asking.
Why argue little things that doesn't matter at all?? Or just am not worth argueing for? It's not like, he's heading down a cliff to his death.
this is way more interesting than watching the House of Lords debate on a major ethical issue on whether papua new guinea should be nuked...wahaha...yeah~ this is my idea of a joke. -.-!
First of all...Eric...you did your best...and that is all that matters. I know it's hard for you...like u said urself...u've never failed b4...this is probably a first for u...n' let me assure u...it ain't gonna be ur last either. I'm not trying to discourage u...but am hoping that u'll get the point that in this life...nothing is going to be perfect.
Knowing you for this long, I know it's probably going to be a hard hit of reality for u being that this is ur first time...but you'll get over it eventually, OK?
Don't forget that there is a limit to every man's ability. There comes a point in life, when you've tried your very best and yet, the outcome is less than desirable. Well, the highlight there is not the outcome, but rather the fact that you did your very best.
If you know you've tried the best that you could have, n' yet the outcome isn't what u expect...it is the comfort of knowing that you've put in a 100% that matters because no one can blame u for not doing better.
God has a plan for each and every one of us. Sometimes he creates failures in our lives because it helps to humble us. It helps us realize that we can't depend on ourselves 100%, and that it all comes from Him. Not to say that we don't have to work to earn our blesssings, but just the mere fact that we are His creations - not vice versa.
All in all, I hope that things will work out for the best for you, Eric. And I will definitely keep you in my prayers. And the one thing that I've come to realize, that I would like to pass on to u...is the fact that a number/percentage on a piece of paper means nothing if you do not know how to apply the knowledge in real life. A person that is only book smart, but not practical in life...is a true failure at life. Keep up the good work, n' chill a lil' bro, ok!
"Cast your burden on the LORD,and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."
~Psalms 55:22~
bra'gE
anonymous,
i take it your point is that we need to have a balance in life between hard work and depending on God. On that, i agree. I will try do just that.
alto,
hey...thanks for ur support!! ur point taken!
bra Ge~,
thanks...i will keep that inmind...
Ah, you finally get what I mean. I never meant to create a ruckus or debate.
so alto, I didn't write all that to argue anything. I am just offering an opinion saying that we should strike a balance between work and faith.
Protestanism can sometimes be too concentrated on faith alone. Catholics on the other hand demands lots of work (confession, rosary and so on) and all I'm saying is that I feel like we should sometimes just have more faith and not just work work work.
=D
I myself like to depend of my own strength and work my own way too but it never works out. I ignored God's direct command and I suffered. That's why I just want to tell you first before anything bad happens. God's grace is always more than enough for us. Sometimes, we should just sit for a while and take a good look at God's grace and miracles and we might just get a glimpse of heaven and forget about our piling homeworks and stressful tests.
God loves us first and I just want to tell you this out of love. Don't take it wrongly.
Don't worry. You will not see me commenting here again. Bye.
Wooooowwwww... Freaking interesting... And yet kinda annoying and boring... Oh well, tats part of life.. I remember God saying He helps those who First help themselves. So even if He put us on the head, if we don't try for ourselves, we are still dead bottom. And finally, this goes out to anonymous, whoever you are.. What???? HAHAHA.....
dear anonymous,
I am really sorry for the criticism that you have to bear. I assure you, it is not my friend's intention to insult u in anyway. They are just kidding in their ways. I really hope u will continue to contribute to the constructive development of my life by continueing to comment on how i can improve myself.
i do have a request. that is to use your name or sth that i would be able to know who you are. or you could choose to tell me personally. Then, i would know who i am referring to, out of mutual respect. really hope you continue to comment! cheers mate!
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